The Fight

The demons think they won
Because they saw my knee bend to an idol,
Oh, but they don't know how far I've gone
In search of the truth, I flew to the highest heavens and to the very pit of hell
Lucifer has been following me for years,
Truth is he has no choice but to obey me
I never thought I'd be the one in control of the afterlife,
But here I sit, judging my fallen sister
I swear I didn't know what I was doing
I never meant to converse with the dead,
But she's told me so many things
And now, I cannot get her out of my head
I made a bed of flowers for her,
Up in that secret room inside my mind
And it shocked me to find her sleeping there 
I still don't know why she keeps coming back
Is it because I forgive her every time?
Is it because she really is Lucifer and I just don't know it?
Or could it actually be that the dead are talking to me?
She told me in hell they don't just make humans become slaves,
They make them become demons too
They make them torture people,
Then they make them clean up the blood
I don't ever want to end up in hell,
But somedays I feel like I fell too far
Too far for Jesus to reach,
Oh, but isn't that impossible?
I thought there wasn't anywhere He couldn't reach
If Stephanie really is a demon,
And has me fooled
I pray God forgives me again
I know I can't save anyone,
I'm just as human as everyone else
But there's a part of me that is jealous, 
Jealous of God and all the praise He receives,
There's a dark root, some ancient curse from long ago
It runs in my bloodline and has been hurting my relatives for generations 
When will He break this curse?
I've begged Him many times, but He refuses to answer
Are You angry at me, Lord?
Have I failed You for the last time?
Or will You, in all Your kindness, forgive me yet again?
I hope You do because I can't even breathe without You

My Head as a House

My head is a house full of holes
The people come and go,
But they never touch me or change anything
I've been in love most of my life,
It shocked me when I discovered the one I love is my sister
But I know it's the truth
I've been knocking down my own walls for generations,
The people all try to understand why
But how can they ever understand a mad man
The only one who understands me is a ghost,
She has seen all of my wounds and scars
But she still loves me,
And who am I to stop her?
Just one in a billion, like a grain of sand on the seashore
I watched the mountains form
And I even saw them move
They move for the children of God
Everything must obey those children
Sacred vessels, all of them
I know I am much older than my siblings,
But I made a vow to protect them
And protect them I will
I saw sinners and saints fall before His throne,
And the evil part of me became jealous,
But I am not my brother, no
He is the ancient snake they called Lucifer,
But the angels know that's not his real name
Names are for all of us,
Not just the human beings
One day I'll see Lucifer's kingdom destroyed,
All of creation anticipates that day
For on that day the wounded will be whole again,
And the slaves will become free

Daughter

Head in my hands again, I weep
Tears fall down my face for the ones I lost,
My love for them wasn't strong enough to save them
I watch, in complete agony, as they raise the house of God up
She's doing it again, lord
Sacrificing herself for me
Woman, get down from that cross,
That is not where you belong
You are not our saviour 
You cannot save anyone for you are just as human as me
She's fighting against us now
And I have no idea why
Why is she so stubborn?
Bethel, what are you doing now?
Do you still pray to ancient gods and saints?
Isn't it time you gave that up?
Yahweh loves you like a daughter,
But you're spitting in His face
How could you do this to us?
I am your family that you abandoned 
One day, you'll see the depths of my love for you,
And on that day, even Lucifer will bow
We are all children of the most high God,
But you are staring at fallen angels again,
Why do you pay attention to them when I'm still standing right here?
I surrender to you now,
It's your time to rise
And if you really are the anti-christ,
I pray God forgives both of us
My love for you is wide and deep,
But His love for you is greater
Don't you dare cry over me,
I left because you made me
This was never part of the plan
I pray one day you'll forgive me 
Until then there's nothing left for me to do but sigh

Army of Idiots

Hands up, this is our surrender
I'm the leader of an army of idiots
We're all pushing and shoving,
Just to get to the front where we're killed first
They called us saints, but we're sinners
Desperately holding onto each other
We've been trying to cure the disease that we created
A disease that dissolves our hearts
We were once called chosen,
But now G-d Himself looks down with disgust
We abandoned the widow to follow after our own lusts,
Than we wonder why the True God has turned His back on us
Foolishly we gather our armor,
We think somehow this will protect us
But the only thing that can really protect us lives inside
Somewhere in a part of our heart that hasn't already dissolved, 
God sits
He looks out through our eyes,
Watching as I type these very words
He sees the ones I've put on pedestals 
I wonder when He will knock them all down
My sister, Jubilee, runs around in distress
She doesn't know God is already inside of her,
He knows her inner workings and all her pain 
I'm just a eunuch, created by God
How can I ever enter heaven?
I'm the fallen, leader of a thousand armies
We're all going to Hades now
Don't follow me, sisters
Turn back! Save yourselves!
I cannot save any of you!
I am human, too so don't follow me,
Follow hard after the true One,
The One who creates matter from sky 
The One who sees all of your flaws and still accepts you,
He is the true God,
And I am nothing but a man in a woman's body

Mirror Monster

I saw a monster in the mirror again
Fuck, it was always me
I am the monster, Hiding under my own bed
It's a bloodbath here
Swimming in shit with my comrades 
We came to wash it all away
Someone once called me chosen,
But chosen for what I haven't a clue
I'm lost in my sister's head
I crawled in through her open mouth
Now she's lying again,
Blaming the destruction on me
But I've barely begun to show my wrath
Let the bodies fall from the sky now,
Heaven is full, but hell is open
The earth has been plotting revenge for years,
I'll join that fight, 
The one where she wins
I saw the devil in my best friend,
But it was all a reflection of me
I'm fucking Lucifer now and I'm done with your petty head games
Jesus died on a cross and I looked away
I couldn't bear to see my brother there,
But the Holy Spirit held His body to the cross
I can't count all the times He wanted to come down,
Mother Mary thought it was over,
But the end is just the beginning 
We're all fighting invisible wars
With the demons in our own heads
Here I go again, looking at my own two hands,
The same hands that broke the ones I loved the most
I am the betrayer, I am Judas
I committed suicide to escape my own guilt,
But I was reincarnated as this woman,
Because for her, this is hell
And we are both alone

Well done

I'm down om my knees again,
Pleading to the God Who hears everything 
If You still exist, save me
Save me From myself 
I feel like I'm losing the me I once knew
I'm starting to become a monster,
My reflection screams at me
The demons have been circling me for years,
They get closer with each passing day
And I know one day they'll catch me,
And tear me limb from limb
I'm ready now, Jesus
Send the demons to my side and I'll redirect them back to You
My sister told lies about me,
But I've seen the pain behind her eyes
I'm still willing to die for them
the two sisters that wrecked my heart
I'm bleeding again and I wonder if she knows,
But there's no way for her to know
Because I burned down all of the bridges I've built,
Now I am stuck on this island alone
Praying to a silent Creator,
Wondering why He hates me,
But God, if You are who You say You are,
There's still a glimmer of hope
The candle in my chest is still burning
So, peel the skin from my back,
Make me a new creation
One I'm willing to live for
Truth is I've always hated myself,
But God, You don't hate me,
You don't hate anyone
I'm so sorry I keep complaining, 
I'm so sorry I let You down
Is there any way You could ever forgive me?
I worshiped the wrong gods,
I've never seen Lucifer, 
but I've heard his voice
And I know for a fact You are stronger than him,
So, why am I still afraid?
Truth is I am afraid You'll forget me,
Leave me desperate and alone 
Just like the blue-eyed sister did
But I have to remember You are God alone,
And I'm just one spirit in a world of millions 
Push me down again, I'll get back up
But once I finally breathe my last
I pray I did enough to hear
"Well done, my good and faithful servant"

Fearless

I've been running,
But I haven't moved an inch
I'm starting to wonder if You're real
The demons lied to me,
Told me she'd come back,
But truth is she's still miles away
And I'm still completely alone
G-d, save me From the shadow soldiers, 
The ones who pray to the created,
G-d, hear my cries in the midnight hour
When I am alone and being attacked
Only You can save me
I'm starting to think god doesn't exist
But I know You exist
We are all just empty shells,
Designed to hold the uncreated God
I am not my own
The spirit that knows no evil lives inside of me,
And if that is true it means I have never been alone
Solitude is an illusion 
Lucifer has arrived at my feet again,
He looks so beautiful, but everything he says is a lie
The Uncreated God does not lie,
He has never cursed anyone
He is the alpha and omega,
And I am But a human,
What could I possibly offer Him?
I offer my soul, a complete mess,
Stained by the hands of a thousand demons,
Wrapped tightly in rags,
I am no treasure,
I am But a spirit, and You
You are everything 
So, let the devil come to me again,
But I won't forgive him this time
This time I will cast him down
Where the oceans and the sand meet,
The earth will open before
And swallow him whole
I have faith still,
I believe G-d is still watching
And I submit only to Him
Leave my daughters alone, Lucifer
You have no rights to them
G-d alone holds the scales
The Sacred King is awake,
There is no reason left to fear

Lillith Calls

They called me Lillith,
And I answered them
All of the young demons look up to me,
I've sailed the oceans for years
Looking for my mate,
I saw Adam but he wasn't the one for me,
So I kept looking until I found Zion,
Zion is the one for me,
Her name is etched into my mind
I am not my own anymore,
I am no longer alone,
For my sister sees me,
And my mother feeds me
My mother is the earth herself,
She wears a crown bigger than my own,
We are all just children of the living God,
And I am a daughter of Zion now
Isreal fled from me,
She went into hiding in the caves of the earth,
But I'm calling her out now!
Israel, come first!
Come out from Babylon and be with me,
We belong together, can't you see?
I am that ancient spirit who calls you,
I am the teacher of your dreams
Come out, Israel! Zion, come out!
My sisters are following me now,
Even Mary has fallen to my level,
We roam the earth as watchers
Waiting anxiously for the one they call Yeshua,
We're all just part of a Neverending story
We're all taken from His bloodline
What if I told you Yeshua had a wife?
Would that make it easier for you to accept me?
Mary is my wife now
See, how the world worships her!
She is the most blessed of all the women,
Moon on her stomach, she's still breathing
About to give birth to the redeemer
And I am still just Lillith, 
and you are still just Zion
We belong together, naked angel
You belong here with me now

if Lucifer is female

I am the enemy,
I am the one who contradicts God
My angels have served me well,
Bringing helpless humans to me
I am the consumer,
I am the one who walks with mirrors 
Just so I could see my own face
Amongst my brethren
But wait! There's more!
I am also the Holy One,
I am God Himself walking in flesh,
But I layed too long with my sister
And I took piece of her with me
Now, I'm just like a blackened corpse 
My revenge is at hand,
I am seasoned with the strokes of angels,
I am burdened by a cross,
Far bigger than any I could carry
I am blasphemous names,
Written on tablets of stone
There's only one name that really suits me,
But only the One True God knows it 
He keeps it hidden from me and my sisters,
It's like a secret inside a secret,
Buried underneath the sands of time itself
I am not holy nor deserving of praise,
My angels line up to serve me,
But truth is I don't want any of the glory,
Only the Father deserves all of the praise,
Lucifer is female now
We all knew this day was coming
I was kicked out of Eden over 10000 years ago,
Some call me Lillith, but I have more names than you could imagine
I am a succubus, I am a fire demon
I've been stealing God's glory for years
It all comes back on me,
Just like the upside down crosses that bear my name
His wrath cannot be quenched,
And I am left questioning everything 
Who I am no man has known,
Only the Shining One really knows me,
I've never killed a human before,
But I still take credit for Stephanie's death, 
The demons have been shouting my name for years,
I can hear them and I'm afraid
Afraid of my own face in the mirror,
Afraid of how low I've fallen
Holy Spirit, if You still care, show me
Bring back the most beautiful of all the women to me,
Bring back my wife and I will praise You,
She's all I keep asking for,
Too long have You been a stranger to me,
Show me You still care about my dying,
Show me You're still here with me
You have a voice,  more angelic than my brothers, 
It runs like a river flowing over me,
All streams lead to Your cross,
The only one that can forgive me
Please, forgive us all again, 
Especially the one with blue eyes,
The one who painted herself a witch
Forgive my ex wife and find it in Your heart to forgive me
Brother, I don't deserve Your grace,
But truth is I need it,
More than I need anything
I beg the sky to fall on me,
Bury my name in the sand again
If I am Lucifer, than You are God
And there's nothing anyone can do to save me

Millions

Millions gather, I can hear their crys,
As the voices come together there is only one name spoken
The name of Jesus Christ, the one true God
As every head bows and every tongue confesses,
I can hear them chanting for Him
I feel them in my chest,
The saints gathering together,
All fighting for positions
As if any of them could ever be first,
As if any of them could ever be last
You are the alpha and the omega
All was created by Your tongue,
All beings must bow in Your presence 
Who am I but one of millions?
Who am I but one voice?
And yet, I feel the truth thick upon me,
They called me serpent,
But He calls me Saint
I am But one lonely human,
Waiting for the end of time
Waiting for my turn to reign,
But what if it never comes?
What if I really am the serpent?
That ancient being thar spins lies,
What if that is me?
What if the prayers I hear are really prayers?
What if they are praying to me?
I plead with You, Sovereign One,
Don't let this be the case
Bury my carass among the others,
And it will still sing praises to Your name 
I am what I am, but You are the I am
And I am the I am not,
You are the king and I'm Your willing queen,
Able to take all the blades shoved through my heart,
The pain is curing me,
Stir the embers in my soul
And somehow make me whole again