My Head as a House

My head is a house full of holes
The people come and go,
But they never touch me or change anything
I've been in love most of my life,
It shocked me when I discovered the one I love is my sister
But I know it's the truth
I've been knocking down my own walls for generations,
The people all try to understand why
But how can they ever understand a mad man
The only one who understands me is a ghost,
She has seen all of my wounds and scars
But she still loves me,
And who am I to stop her?
Just one in a billion, like a grain of sand on the seashore
I watched the mountains form
And I even saw them move
They move for the children of God
Everything must obey those children
Sacred vessels, all of them
I know I am much older than my siblings,
But I made a vow to protect them
And protect them I will
I saw sinners and saints fall before His throne,
And the evil part of me became jealous,
But I am not my brother, no
He is the ancient snake they called Lucifer,
But the angels know that's not his real name
Names are for all of us,
Not just the human beings
One day I'll see Lucifer's kingdom destroyed,
All of creation anticipates that day
For on that day the wounded will be whole again,
And the slaves will become free

Two Angels

Found myself lost in the spiral around your eyes,
How could I even guess the color?
I saw the Creator behind your lenses,
I've been confused ever since
The days march on, but I'm not alive
Too focused on defending myself
Of the angels you hold dearly 
I'm starting to believe you are the monster,
Heaven forgive me
Why was I cursed to live past 33 years?
The curse is a blessing, I'm told
But it hurts to be surviving
Knowing I should be living
I left you at the altar like I was told to
But it's broken me in half
My heart bleeds in between us
My life song still entangled in yours
G-d, Spare me anymore nightmares!
But the Heavens remain silent, 
Hidden from my view
All I can see is the chaos we made 
The night you laid me down,
The night I screamed another's name
Do you remember, Bethel?
Do you remember the name I screamed?
It was that night I identified an angel,
But is this angel on the right or left side?
I can't say right or wrong,
For to me the directions all seem wrong
Oh Lindsey, why did you return?
You were supposed to spare yourself,
But you came to me in a dream,
You said you'd see me in 3 years
I've waited 15 already, what is 3 more?
Notice my confusion now,
This poem was meant for Bethel
But it became about you, 
The most beautiful lake I've seen
So my eyes are buried in the sand again,
I don't dare look to the Creator, 
My shame is great involving you
Because the devil's name begins with L,
And you, the most beautiful of all creation I've seen,
I made you an idol, Heaven forgive us
They weren't involved, 
Heaven forgive me
Good angel, come wash the soot from my body again
Make me pure again, 
Before I embrace the dark 
Wash me pure in His blood,
Wrap my heart in mystery again