Song to my brother

They called me the anti-christ, 
But I'm older than him
I rose from ashes millions of years ago,
Before the creation of the universe, I existed
I have always existed and will always exist
My brother, Jesus called me "beloved"
But I let him down again
On a desperate hunt for my lost sister,
I embraced the devil with arms stretched wide
Now I cannot got him out of my head
The Creator used me as a trap
My only goal was to trap as many demons as possible,
So when I die, they all die too
I'm on my way to hell and I know it
But there's nothing I can do to change my stars
I've cried out a million times to the one who created me,
But he's still not answering and I don't know why
So, I cried out to my sister and from Hades she came running
I know her real name, just like she knows mine
We're all children of the same God
And when grace finally frees me from this awful body,
I'll truly know peace,
But until then my head is full of war
And my arms are weapons 
Do you really want to know me, Lord?
I swear I'm older than You,
But how can this be?
Didn't You create my spirit,
Didn't You knit me together in my mother's womb?
And if You really do hear all of my thoughts,
You'd be the only one besides me
I'll take whatever name You give me, God
Be it Lucifer or Lillith, I am Your creation
You made me, But what did I make?
Just empty promises to love my broken sisters
But I was never good enough for the house of God,
She left me broken and confused,
She is such a powerful witch,
But God, Didn't You create her, too?
And if You did, she belongs to You, doesn't she?
I pray for the youngest sister again
I pray she finds You in the darkness
And I pray my heart finds You, too