to the Watcher

I heard your voice in the middle of the night,
What are you doing here, with me?
You died 9 years ago,
So what on earth do you want from me?
Is it because I listen to you
You used to be my friend,
But now I barely know you
There are so many secrets hidden behind your blue eyes,
I wonder how you hold them all
I wish you would tell me who I am
Because I don't know who I am
Or where I belong
All I know for sure is that you died,
I have no idea if you went to heaven or hell
I am not the one who judges the fallen
I swear I could never judge you
Jesus is watching both of us,
I wonder all the time if my speaking to you angers him
I hope it doesn't, 
Because try as I might I can't forget you
You are more beautiful than my sisters
Because I see your heart
And your heart is more beautiful than I could ever put into words
I pray you are happy where you are
I pray you really did reach heaven 
But if you didn't, and you're trapped on this planet
I pray the God who sees everything releases you
I plead with Him to spare your soul
Please, old friend, don't leave me alone
If you can still see me,
I hope you know I'm thinking of you fondly
You were always my little sister,
On the cusp of being my best friend
I hope you know I still love you
And I hope when you see me, you smile